All That Jazz

Chicago Illinois, USA

Monday, 26 September 1921

I hate cities. They’re crowded, filthy, and reek of misery and desperation.

I took a break from hating my location long enough to side-step a nasty-looking puddle. It was one of those that could have been less than an inch deep, or it could have been hiding a treacherous pothole. The alley I was creeping down was filled with them.

At least I got to ditch the Flapper rags! I mused to myself. I knew that I had to dress like the trendy young thing that I appeared to be if I wanted to move swiftly through the nightclubs that my quarry liked to frequent. But they were hardly fighting clothes.

I hopped over another puddle, my plain brown shoes and cotton trousers helping me navigate. Dressing like a male street urchin, my long brunette hair tucked beneath a simple cap, had its advantages.

Leave it to a lowlife like McConnell to have his private digs in some back alley! I thought as I slipped in and out of the shadows that dotted my path. Scum like that never ventures into the light, lest they be struck down like a newborn vampire at dawn.

To tell the truth, an ordinary biter hunt sounded like fun at that moment. While ending such mistakes of God like Don McConnell was the primary mission in my unnaturally long life, it still pained me to learn the details needed to find slime like him. It almost always peeled back the veneer of civility on society to expose the ugly reality hiding just under the surface.

McConnell isn't the worst of the worst I thought. Yes, he’s a rapist, but the sheer number of unpunished rapists who cross my path in a town the size of Chicago number way too high to target every one of them. What made Donald McConnell a monster was how much license he gave to every perv down the line in his mob to abuse every woman under their authority. Not just the strippers and hookers, but the waitresses in his bars, the office girls, even the cleaning ladies found that their unspoken job duties included jumping on any willie that waved at them… or else.

I know that I should end him quickly I thought, but I think that a little suffering might be in order. He shows no mercy to those he brutalizes, so why should I spare him pain?

“I think I need a vacation.” I sighed quietly.

The alley took a turn, and I soon found myself standing before a grungy door with the word "Private" stenciled across the cloudy glass. Deep inside the building, I could feel the putrid odor of McConnell’s aura.

“Showtime!” I whispered.

I unlocked the door with a simple spoken charm and stepped inside.

“Ew.” I grunted involuntarily.

The sight that greeted me was not what I was expecting. The sparse furnishings of the reception area were smashed, the plain wooden desk reduced to kindling, and the chairs to splinters. Bullet holes dotted the walls, barely missing the front door. It looked like quite a battle had happened there.

There’s just one thing missing I thought, looking at the floor. Unless these goons were shooting at ghosts, they must have hit something! Where’s the blood?

No blood, no bodies. My inner alarms were blaring in my head.

“Well, this just got interesting!” I said aloud, my voice ringing hollow in the hallway beyond the front room. I extended my perception beyond that room and found no other living souls on the first floor. Cautiously, I stepped down the hall, searching for the stairs.

I found them. Slumped at their base was the first body, a stocky guy in a cheap suit. He had “hired goon” written all over him, and it didn’t take very much inspection to find out how he had died. His head had been twisted around one hundred and eighty degrees, his face a look of terror.

“Okay, so we’re dealing with a supernatural, exact type unknown.” I mused quietly, stepping over the body. “Maybe a were-being or a demon.” I looked back at the corpse before proceeding. “Little Donny travels with some interesting people.”

I found another body at the top of the stairs, and that one removed all doubt about just what had found McConnell before me. He was a younger goon, dressed in an equally cheap suit. His throat was ripped out, and yet most of his blood seemed to be missing from the floor and walls around him.

A vampire!

I almost started chuckling. Of all of the mysterious, evil things in the world to attract, Donald McConnell had to attract a vampire. Oh well, I thought, after I make sure that McConnell’s dead I’ll get to dust me a biter! Not a bad night’s work!

The vampire had taken care of McConnell’s hired goons, so I followed its trail of destruction through the building. It wasn’t what I would have done… I usually tried to slip in and out of situations making as little ruckus as possible. However, I couldn’t get too upset at the extra death. Most of these men have done terrible things I thought as I walked by. Even if they were ordered to do so, they enjoyed it… I can feel it coming off of their cooling bodies.

I often argued with Timothy about sparing so many underlings. He maintained that they would just go on to work for other scum, continuing to victimize people for pay. I couldn’t argue that point, I just didn’t have the taste for blood that he did.

Two floors and ten bodies later, I was standing outside yet another door marked ‘private’. I knew that this was Donald’s office. Before I could feel out the next room psychically I heard a ‘snap!’ and a cry of pain come from inside.

He’s not dead yet! I thought, grinning. I didn’t miss the show!

Okay, so I had a little blood lust.

I opened the door and saw the bloody and battered form of Donald McConnell huddled on the floor. His suit had been torn away to his undershirt, and large welts covered his bald head. The six-foot terror of the South Side was reduced to a whimpering blob, and he reached a hand out towards me.

“Help me!” he pleaded, his voice quivering.

Before I could say anything, a stocking-clad leg appeared out of the shadows and landed on his forearm, breaking it with another satisfying ‘snap!’. I looked up the leg, past a slightly hitched-up skirt, to see…

Oh my God, she’s beautiful!

The vampire was a woman, one with long, straight hair the color of honey. She looked to be about nineteen or twenty human years old, though her true age was a mystery. Her body, from what I could tell under the frumpy gray dress she wore, was thin yet powerful.

She checked off every box for what I liked in a woman. If only she wasn't a blood-drinking creature of the night!

Okay, so I knew that not all vampires were an evil scourge on humanity… Tim would have a thing or two to say about that! I just knew that crusaders like him were rare and that most biters I ran across were not ones that I would want to let live.

“Oh my, Mister McConnell,” the lady vampire said, leaning in, “must you really enlist more people to die before you?”

Her voice! It made me melt a little, and I felt my body start to respond in kind. Get it together, Sarah! I thought angrily, You’re working, not picking up stray vampires for a good time!

The vampire turned her gaze towards me, arching an eyebrow in an unspoken question.

“I’m not gonna help him.” I said, holding my hands up.

“You’re the smartest man in here.” the vampire said.

“Well,” I said, grinning, “About that… ” I whipped off my hat, allowing my long brunette hair to fall freely over my shoulders.

Did she just do a double-take? I thought furiously. It really looks like she did a double-take!

“Oh!” she said. “Well, that explains how some orphan boy could have such delicate features.”

“Well, they ain’t exactly glad rags,” I said, looking down for a moment at my disguise, “but they’re good in a fight.”

“A simple dress suits me just fine.” the vampire replied, smoothing her skirt. “Of course, I can stay in the shadows, so I have less need to fit in.”

“I mean, sure it’s comfy,” I said, grinning, “but please, that?” I pointed at her outfit.

“What’s wrong with this?” the vampire countered, surprised.

“I mean, it’s not a bad choice if you’re going for ‘spinster schoolteacher’-type map, but nobody would call you a ‘looker’ in that.” I shrugged.

“Map? Looker?” she asked, confused. “I swear, I cannot understand modern mortals and their bizarre mangling of the English language!”

“Look,” I said, holding my hands up again, “I’m not trying to confuse you. ‘Map’ means ‘face’, and ‘looker’ is what you call a… “ I paused, my cheeks threatening to betray me by growing red.

“A what?” The vampire’s voice was softer, and it put me at ease.

“A really pretty lady.” I finished, hoping that the dim light hid my deepening blush.

“Oh, thank you!” The vampire put her hand to her cheek, and then looked around. “Hold on,” she said, “I’m missing my glasses.”

She searched for a minute and then noticed that McConnell had dragged himself towards a closet in a desperate bid to hide. "Hey, come back here!" she said, more annoyed than angry. She grabbed his good leg, the other one having been already broken, and dragged him back to the spot in between myself and her. She broke his good leg for good measure, and he howled in pain.

“You’re just making things harder on yourself, ya stupid mug!” I said, shaking my head. I tried to fight the grin that wanted to appear.

The vampire returned to her search on the floor, popping up a few seconds later wearing a pair of simple wire-rimmed glasses. She gave a slight smile.

“Those are pretty glasses.” I said, temporarily awestruck.

“Thank you again.” The vampire said, smiling.

“My name’s Sarah.” I blurted out, unsure of what else to say.

“Stevie.” was the vampire’s reply.

“Stevie?” I said, curious. “That’s an unusual name for a dame.” I cringed at the inadvertent rhyme. Stevie, however, only smiled. “Is it short for something?”

“I was born Stephanie Elizabeth Graves,” she replied, her smile fading, “but that girl died a long time ago.”

I felt bad for souring her mood. Jesus H Christ out on the roof, since when did hurting a vampire's feelings give me a one-way ticket to guilt-ville?!? I thought furiously. When I opened my mouth, however, my voice was still soft.

“Hey, uh,” I stammered, holding my hands up, “I wasn’t trying to stir up bad memories or anything for ya… “

Stevie stopped my babbling with a wave of her own. “Don’t let it concern you.” she said, smiling again.

Her smile allowed me to relax. “Good.”

“So!” she continued, shaking off the awkwardness between us. “What brings you to this temple of pain and suffering?”

“That.” I replied, pointing to the sweaty, bleeding form on the floor in between us.

“Personal vendetta?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“I wish!” I replied, shaking my head. “It’s a little more complicated than that. Let’s just say that I’m on a mission to right the wrongs I see around me.”

“It doesn’t get much more wrong than Donald McConnell.” she said, punctuating his name with a couple of swift kicks to the side of the once imposing gangster. He cried out in pain as his ribs snapped.

She must be young I thought, or she’s new to the crusader lifestyle! “Unfortunately, it does.”

Her face fell. “Really?”

“No applesauce.”

“And that means?”

“It means ‘no kidding’.”

“How bad have you seen?”

I thought for a moment. For what the priests would call an ‘abomination’, she’s awfully naive I thought. I knew I shouldn’t hit her with the worst… I wasn't ready to know what I knew, and I was probably centuries older! "Well,” I began, “I was in Italy a few years ago where I destroyed a child brothel. It was near this monastery… “

“Okay, okay, I've heard enough!" Stevie's delicate fingers covered her eyes. "Angelique, oh Angelique, why didn't you tell me?"

“Angelique?” I couldn’t hide my surprise. “You know Angelique?”

“She made me.” she replied, her voice matter-of-fact.

“Oh!” I waved away a great deal of tension that I didn’t even know I was holding. “Damn. And you joined her crusade?”

“If you mean, ‘use my supernatural abilities to protect the weak from the tyrants that walk among us’,” she said, her chin held high, “then yes.”

“Wow.” My face was lit up with a smile that I didn’t know I could still do. “You know what?”

“What?”

"I think you're the bee's knees."

“I take it that’s good?”

If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn that she blushed! “It’s very good.” I nodded.

“Thank you.” After a moment, she raised her eyebrows. “Sarah, if it’s not an imposition, I would like to make a request.”

“Go ahead.” I smiled again.

“Do you think that, after we finish up here… “ She gestured towards the sniveling lump in between us. “… could you, perhaps… “

“Yes?” I was beyond curious.

“Help me with the current slang?” She sighed. “I have not been able to pick it up, and it does get in the way when I’m seeking my quarries.”

“Sure!” I replied brightly. “I know this nice cafe downtown, they have some corner booths that’ll give us some privacy.”

"That would make me happy." She said, smiling back. A grunt from McConnell made her face fall into an eye roll. "Which one of us should deal with this?”

I shrugged. “Are you hungry?”

"It's been a while, yeah."

“Well, blood is one thing not on the menu at the cafe, so… “

She nodded, and pounced on McConnell in a flash, lifting his neck towards her mouth and biting down. He thrashed for a couple of minutes and then collapsed in a lifeless heap. Satisfied, she rose and walked towards me.

“Ready to go?” she said.

“Ready if you are.” I replied.

We walked in silence through the hallways and down the stairs. I noticed again just how many of the dead goons had been bitten.

“You ate all this and were still hungry upstairs?” I asked incredulously.

She shrugged. “I hadn’t eaten in a week, I was hungry.”

I chuckled, and soon we were before the main door leading outside. I looked at Stevie and then noticed something.

“Hold on.” I said. I quickly grabbed a piece of shredded material, probably a piece of a dead goon’s clothes that had been ripped off before I arrived, from the floor and stood in front of the vampire. “Let me get this.”

I reached towards her, and she stood as still as a statue. I then gently wiped away a couple of drops of blood that dotted her chin below her mouth.

“Now you’re ready to go out in public.” I said, smiling. She smiled back.

I tucked my hair under my cap. Now that I was ready as well, I offered her my arm.

"Why thank you kind sir.” she said, winking at the last word.

I laughed. Arm in arm, we stepped out into the night.